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A very funny and slightly weird man
Wrote poems on stickers and stuck in them in public library books
Played the harmonium
Composer and performer of “Baby sits in a rusty highchair,” which my grandma used to love to hear me sing when I was a child.
Also check out the song Old Oak Tree, from the album Dandruff: https://open.spotify.com/album/2gBdIkbOIEcC6XPLMJiJlR
Its door is hyper cool
Its legs look just like tusks
It’s true if it’s a bool
It dances AND it busks
- Bob’s idle atom cud
Rave on a Roundabout
I want to go to one of the infamous Blackburn raves
I persuade my friend Mike to drive his tiny Mini
We meet at the rendezvous point - hundreds of cars parked outside a pub on a country lane
Suddenly the signal - we’re off!
Car follows car follows car in a giant convoy.
But it’s going too fast
Mike’s tiny old Mini can’t keep up
We lose the car in front
Hundreds of cars are following us
But we don’t know where we’re going.
We reach a giant roundabout over a motorway
It’s three lanes wide, so we just join the roundabout and drive slowly round in circles
We’re waiting for somebody to arrive who knows where they’re going
They can lead us off like the pied piper
But nobody knows where they’re going!
Slowly the roundabout completely fills up with cars, all slowly driving in a giant circle
Windows are open, people are hanging out of windows, even sitting on car roofs
Music is blasting out, doobies are lit up
It’s a rave on a roundabout!
Finally somebody comes back from the rave, finds us, leads us to the field, or warehouse, or warehouse in a field, where the rave is happening
But the police have got there first
They turn us away
We go home
(I never did get to one of those Blackburn raves)
Room smells of cloves
Me in 9-yr-old's room: "It smells of cloves in here."
Me: "But why does it smell of cloves?"
Son: "Because there are cloves in here."
Me: "Why are there cloves in here?"
Son: "They're everywhere. I'm wearing them."
Me: "Huh? Why are you wearing cloves?
Oh, hang on..."